Emma’s Two Moms Rock

Every day I read the news and shudder—for myself, my friends, my family and especially for my kids. This world sucks right now and I blame it all on the Boomers. But I’ll save that for another post.

Today, I’m here to talk about one of the BEST parts of being a kid in 2009. The little guys have friends down the street and at school with two moms or two dads or one dad who likes other dads, etc. etc. and they think nothing of it. Sure, they’ll ask some questions. But in general, it seems like children in America today accept atypical family situations so readily and without prejudice. Do I live in the LA/NY bubble? It’s possible. But for once I’m giving everybody in those other states some credit.

Fig. 1: Kate & Allie, not Mara & Rita…but I always wondered.

More specifically, I want to post about Mara, Rita and their incredibly cute little girl Emma. They are good neighbors and lovely people who invite us over with our two-year-old twin terrors regularly and don’t even blink when one of them sneezes on a very expensive cheese plate. Rita is American. Mara is German and gave birth to their daughter here in the States. Because of some entirely backwards immigration policy and an expired student visa, they can’t live here full time as a married couple and family. For many months out of the year, they have to leave their beautiful house, uproot their family to head back to Germany. I’m all for nice cars and good beer. But please, this is ridiculous.

Tomorrow, as in FEBRUARY 12Th, Representative Jerrold Nadler plans to reintroduce the Uniting American Families Act, a bill that would allow gay and lesbian binational couples to live as a family in the U.S. full time.

RIGHT NOW, here’s what you can do:

Please call your Representative and ask them to be an original cosponsor of
the “Uniting American Families Act of 2009.” 

IF YOU LIVE NEAR ME IT IS DIANE WATSON 202-225-7084

It’s easy and would only take 5 minutes of your time!
Find out who your U.S. House Representative is.  Go to
http://www.congressmerge.com/onlinedb/index.htm, enter your address, and you will be provided the name of your U.S. Representative. Or call the U.S. Capitol Switchboard at (202)224-3121 and ask to be connected
to your U.S. Representative.

Tell your representative’s staff:
I am calling to ask Representative ________________ to be an original
cosponsor of the Uniting American Families Act of 2009.  To cosponsor,
he/she must contact Rep. Jerrold Nadler who is the lead sponsor.

The U.S. government discriminates against gay and lesbian binational couples by not allowing them to sponsor their foreign-born life partners for immigration. Because of this,  he/she faces the terrible choice of separating from the person he/she loves, even their children, or leaving our country. Americans should not have to choose between family and country.

Please ask Rep._________________ to cosponsor the Uniting American Families Act of 2009 by reaching out to Rep. Nadler before Thursday Feb. 12 at noon.

Thanks for asking your member of Congress to celebrate love this Valentine’s Day by cosponsoring UAFA!

P.A.D.D.

Here’s an embarrassing confession for you (Hey, it’s a blog. What do you expect?). Every time, and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME I read about or see footage of a struggling polar bear, I cry. Oh, it’s not always a single, silent tear running down the cheek. It’s often accompanied by a little hyper-ventilating, some useless fanning of my face and an overwhelming sense of panic. Don’t even get me started on these twins…

Let’s call it Polar bear Affected Depression Disorder. And sadly, the cure requires a shitload of  effort on a global scale. 

 

I’m going to give it to you straight: Polar bears are some of the strongest swimmers in the ocean, capable of paddling as much as 100 miles without a break. And they’re drowning. Because the ice just isn’t where they remembered it was last year, or the year before that, they have to swim greater distances to get to solid ground and they don’t always make it. The polar bears that do make it are washing up on shores so exhausted that they lie motionless for two days, trying to gain the strength to walk away and hunt for food, as people and cars gather around them. Not choked up yet? How about the thought of brand new baby polar bears being crushed to death in their snow dens because the temperature climbed too high too early in the season and they collapsed? 

It is a gross understatement to say that life for polar bears completely sucks right now. And it’s not exactly the best material for bed time stories. Our kids are currently obsessed with them and it upsets me so much to think that, at the rate things are going, these bears are bound for extinction in their lifetime. Maybe even in my lifetime. So while you can spare the little guys the awful details, you can say that the places the polar bears like to live are getting smaller because people waste energy. When you turn off extra lights, say you’re doing it for the polar bears. When you unplug cell phone chargers, or car pool to school? It’s all for the polar bears. I’m finally considering making the big sacrifice of switching to less flattering compact fluorescents throughout the entire house, not just in the closets. I’ll look green and hideous during my polar bear inspired crying jags, but hey, it’s for the polar bears.

p.s. Right this minute, the other best thing you can do is send a message to the new Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar to let him know exactly what you think of Bush’s decisions to weaken the endangered species act and open up wide swaths of the Alaskan wilderness to oil drilling.

www.polarbearsos.org

Drive Me Crazy

 

There are many things that suck about living in Los Angeles, but joining the pack of complainers is just plain boring. Yeah yeah, the air quality is awful. The collective, citywide worship of underage anorexics is hideous, too. Star-f*cking preschool directors? Not great. Chauffeur driven Bentleys blocking the valet parking driveway at the local mall while unloading six year olds and their “Real Housewives of Orange County” ish moms on their way to an American Girl doll tea party? No, that’s not the best either. Sigh.

But there are moments when living in Los Angeles, or California in general, makes a girl proud. Even the haters out in NYC (you know who you are) have to think that the state’s groundbreaking clean car initiative is kinda great. And now that Obama is pushing this on a nationwide scale, we get bragging rights.

Here’s an excerpt from an NRDC letter sent out today:

“Less than a week into office, President Obama announced monumental decisions this morning that show America and the world that he will lead our country in a bold new direction to protect the environment and fight global warming.
The President directed his EPA to immediately review the Bush Administration’s denial of the right of California and other states to set global warming pollution standards for new cars. He also directed the Department of Transportation to set higher national fuel efficiency standards.

What will that mean in the real world? If Obama’s EPA, as expected, approves the California program, new cars sold in that state and at least 13 others will have to reduce their global warming pollution by 30 percent between 2009 and 2016. And the Department of Transportation will require more efficient new cars to be on the road starting in 2010, and set a course for the average new car to achieve maximum feasible fuel efficiency by 2020. 

Fig. 1. Yes the traffic blows, too.

NRDC’s climate attorneys were present at the White House this morning, and you can imagine their elation at this historic breakthrough. Thanks to your support, NRDC led the fight in 2002 for California’s Clean Cars Law – the very first law to cut global warming pollution from automobiles.”

Hey, thanks NRDC for making us look good. With cleaner cars on the road, maybe our SoCal kids will breathe a little easier. Sadly, lower emissions won’t prevent them from learning obscenities from their parents as they’re driving through the daily traffic clusterf*cks to get to the celebrity tea party at American Girl. But it’s a start.

Happy honking!

Trash Talk

I hate to ruin this spectacular day for anyone—hey, I’ve still got the chills—but please tell me I’m not the only one who saw all of that trash blowing around the mall this morning on CNN. There are two million people gathered on the streets of D.C. talking about their newly kindled American pride, ready to work hard to restore this great Nation, while kicking Blimpie wrappers off of their shoes. It’s a stirring image, for sure.

I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you start by putting your teary tissues in the garbage can?

Does anyone remember Litterbugs Come in Every Size, an awesome Golden Book from the ’70s? It’s a collector’s item now, which, incidentally makes me feel about 70. But this isn’t about me! If we’re going to harness the power of the sun, the wind and the earth as President Obama (oh yeah) suggested, we may want to start by not being complete slobs. A little googling turned up this list of great books for kids about loving the earth and treating it right. 

Of course, the average 4th grader knows more about global warming than most adults out there. And maybe we could all learn a little something from Clifford’s Spring Cleanup, a multi-generational classic for the ages.

Movers and Quakers

My friend Sara introduced me to this very cool public radio show, Speaking of Faith. It’s a conversation about religion and spirituality and how it relates to current events, more or less. Last month, the Quaker author and educator Parker Palmer spoke about the human and spiritual aspects of the economic downturn. The program is called Repossessing Virtue: Economic Crisis, Morality and Meaning and you can download it here. It’s free on itunes, too if this seems ipod appropriate material (search APM: Speaking of Faith with Krista Tippett).

Listening to this conversation confirmed two suspicions of mine: 1. I am, at heart, a Quaker and 2. Our economy is in deep sh#t and it’s all happening because people are greedy a-holes. 

Seriously, it did help me understand what happened and why. After I heard it, my faith that things will right themselves was at least partially restored.  And when my kids are old enough to ask what happened and why (maybe yours are now?) I’ll feel better able to explain it. Without the a-hole part, of course.

And if you have EVEN MORE time to spare, check out this lecture by famed child psychologist Robert Coles on “Children Consider Human Conflict.” on the Speaking of Faith site. So amazing.

Happy Day of Service!

30 minutes of service?

You know you’re busy when a ‘day of service’ sounds like a day off. Sadly, my kids don’t honor MLK day as a national holiday and I will be busting ass on their behalf today, as always.

Here are a couple of quick ideas for parents, like me, who have good intentions, not so good organizational skills, and less than an hour of free time to devote to public service today. In the spirit of efficiency, I say we should go ahead and use this as an opportunity to clean out a closet, too.

DONATE USED BOOKS

Send gently used children’s books (by U.S. mail book rate) to Book Ends and they’ll distribute them to needy school libraries.

BookEnds

6520 Platt Avenue #331

West Hills, CA 91307

DONATE USED CHILDREN’S DVDS

Send them to KidFlicks, and they’ll distribute to children’s hospitals. 

Kidflicks/Barta

1755 Wilshire Blvd, Ste 1450

Los Angeles, CA 90025

kidflicks@aol.com

DONATE GENTLY USED STUFFED ANIMALS

Send ‘em to Stuffed Animals For Emergencies (SAFE), and they’ll pass them along to police & fire stations, and emergency workers who distribute them to children caught in traumatic situations.

Log on to the site and click ‘chapters’ to find a volunteer near you. In California, email marianne@enhancementmedia.com for information on where to send.

 

p.s. If you do any of these things tomorrow, or Wednesday, or a week from tomorrow I think Obama will forgive you.

Happy IF-ing New Year

It’s been nearly a month since I last blogged and to all of you who were lost without my musings, I am deeply sorry.  It’s just that these days, every time I have a free minute, I either pass out or someone pukes on me. (Twin toddlers + virulent stomach bug = a seriously disgusting situation.) But now I’m back with a fresh load of only semi-annoying goodeedling ideas. Here goes nothin.

Maybe it’s the fresh-start New Yearness of January, but lately, in the 3 1/2 seconds it takes me to drift off to sleep at 9:45 pm, I have been thinking about what my life could have been. I’m surprisingly thrilled with my life as it is, but who can resist the occasional what-if?

What if I had dedicated my life to public service instead of writing about, say, hair removal?

What if I had taken the 88 estimated lifetime hours I’ve spent watching the entirely useless Golden-f-ing-Globes and done something productive with them instead?

What if, back in ‘02, I hadn’t bought that slightly-too-small Prada top that hangs limply in my closet and donated the cash to buy a herd of cattle for a destitute farming family in the third world instead? Yes, I get a little carried away. I have only 3 1/2 seconds so there’s no time for self-editing.

Right about the time I started what-iffing, my friend Sharon sent me an email about Marc Gold and his 100 Friends project .This is a guy who what-iffed and decided to do something about it. While traveling in India, Gold met a woman who was suffering from an advanced ear infection. She needed the equivalent of a dollar for antibiotics to clear it up, and then $35 for a hearing aid because of the resultant hearing loss.

Fig. 1: Here’s Gold—not with the deaf Indian woman, but you get the idea.

So he gave it to her. 

Then he thought, what if I did this all the time? And what if I wrote to 100 of my friends to ask for donations, so I can travel the world and do this immediate, instant one-on-one life changing even more? This is a cool story and I can’t do it justice here. So please check out his website and be inspired for yourself.

What does this have to do with being a parent? I’m sort of thinking that it’s my job to help my kids explore the what-ifs before they make the other less fulfilling choice.

The moral to the hundred-friends story is that we should all feel OK about reaching out to our friends when we feel that urgency of a worthy cause, even if it means they get another pesky email asking for time/money/a signature on a petition, even. It could help broaden your reach and maybe even make a difference.  

Hey, now that I’m thinking about it, goodeedle could pass for my micro 100-friends project.

All I need is 99 more friends to read it.

Got (any better ideas for a title) milk?

 I have just enough time to post this cute cow picture and tell all of you to check out the efforts being made to change the rules about labeling milk ‘organic.’ Check out this NPR story with a link to a government website where you can post your comments in support of this movement.

In short, it would require that dairy cows be able to graze and roam on plenty of fresh grass (making healthier cows and happier milk, or vice versa) in order to get that organic stamp of approval. Like most parents of young kids, we power through gallons of the stuff every week—delivered by Dan the milk man who must get up astonishingly early because I’ve actually never seen the man drop it off on our doorstep. And I think making it to 6:30 is sleeping in. Hence the short post. It’s bedtime.

What was I talking about again? Ah yes. The current standards are shockingly not that dissimilar from a factory farm situation. Some milk producers have more integrity than others, of course. But this would force everyone to step it up. 

We’ve got until the 23rd to show our support for this so get cracking.

p.s. Want to know more? www.nationalorganiccoalition.org 

p.p.s Cut and paste this letter drafted by foodandwaterwatch.org into your comment to make it super easy.

“I am writing to support the agency’s proposal to require strong pasture requirements for organic dairy and beef operations.  The controversy over organic milk has been undermining the credibility of organic for too long and I urge the agency to issue a rule clarifying the pasture rule as soon as possible.

I strongly support the provisions of the rule that would not allow certified organic beef and milk to come from animals raised in confined animal feeding operations because I expect organic animals to be kept on pasture for as long as the weather allows good pasture management and good animal health.  Therefore, I support the rule’s requirement of a minimum 30 percent dry matter intake from pasture for a minimum of 120 days.
  
But the rule does need some improvements to make it workable for farmers.  I support the detailed changes proposed by the National Organic Coalition and the Federation of Organic Dairy Farmers to address some overly prescriptive language that could cause problems for=2 0animal welfare and the environment by requiring animals to be outside on pasture even when bad weather or the season makes this inappropriate.

I think the proposal could be even stronger with the following changes:

- The rule should be changed to substitute “grazing season” instead of “growing season” to take into account the reality of the grazing season in different parts of the country.

- To protect pastures from damage and to ensure the health and safety of livestock during bad weather conditions, cows should only be required to be kept on pasture during the grazing season.  

- The rules should also allow for clean, well-managed barnyards that enable exercise and outdoor access during the non-grazing season.

As a consumer, I have always expected that organic livestock were kept on pasture for as long as the weather allowed and that a substantial portion of an organic cow’s diet came from grazing.   I urge the agency to establish strict standards for organic milk and meat as soon as possible.”

Ground Bound

This season, our holiday travel will consist of trips to the Whole Foods and back. We’re staying in town, not for any reason other than sheer terror. Air travel with 20 month old twins is nothing short of torture. So here we stay.

Now the only thing I fear is filling the coming days with toddler-friendly activities that fit with the spirit of the season, and trying like hell to avoid the mall. 

The train is on the agenda, and anywhere less than 45 minutes away is an option (never too young to learn about mass transit).  We took the Gold Line from Chinatown to South Pasadena for ice cream when they were only about 15 months and we barely got a choo choo from the two of them. This time I’m expecting ecstatic choo-ing and so forth.

And so is the Homegirl Cafe. Our friend Meg told me about it. She’s the kind of person who organizes a toy and clothing drive for orphans in Tijuana and then actually drives the stuff down there. And even though she has a two month old, she still directs the choir at the L.A. jail, singing along with guys who have ‘MURDER’ tattooed across their faces. She’s a first rate goodeedler. 

Homegirl Cafe is a part of Homeboy Industries, an organization founded back in the ’80s by a local priest to create job opportunities for gang members. There’s a bakery, a screen printing company and a catering business. And the cafe? It’s a cheery spot downtown where we can get some chilaquiles with the tiny ones and support a good cause. And maybe order a dozen tamales for the freezer.

Those two activities combined knock out about 4 hours. I’m thinking I’ll spend the rest of the time improvising, wishing I was on a plane.

Happy traveling!

It’s a Wash

Hand washing is one of our household obsessions. So much so that when either of our kids stops moving for long enough to notice that their grubby little paws are covered in ketchup, sand, mud, dog food or all of the above, they look at me and say either “Sticky?” (Millie) or “CLEAN IT!” (Lou). As a result, we buy an astounding amount of soap. And because I am the way I am (admittedly obsessive and perpetually concerned about the environment) I wonder what happens to all of those suds once they’re rinsed down the drain.

What we know for sure is that triclosan, a common chemical in antibacterial soaps, is a mortal enemy of aquatic life. It’s toxic to algae and phytoplankton and therefore every swimming creature. And yes, I know that you don’t want little Billy to be germy, but you’re not doing him any favors by using that crap. Antibiotic resistance can be attributed, at least partially, to the increased use of anti-bac soaps. And a good old-fashioned scrub a dub will do the job just as well. Give me a second to put away my soap box. Har har har.

Anyway, how happy was I to be introduced to FURTHER by my friend and PR guru Cindy. It’s a handwash made by a Los Angeles couple that refines grease from the chicest restaurants in town in their garage to make biofuel? One of the bi-products of the fuel-making process is glycerin, which is a common ingredient in soap. They blend the glycerin with the sparkliest, cleanest fragrance from the essential oils of Bergamot, Olive and grasses to make a really lovely hand wash- and then they stock the restrooms at said restaurants with the fruit of their labor. How’s that for a nice little sustainable circle of life? 

 

 

Fig 1: Pretty cool.

Happy stocking stuffing!